When someone you care about finds out they have breast cancer, it can be scary and confusing—for them and for you. You might not know what to say or how to help. But just being there for them can make a big difference. Here are some simple and kind ways to support a loved one during this tough time.
Just Be There and Listen
You don’t need to have the perfect words. Just being with your loved one and listening can help a lot. Let them talk about how they feel, and don’t try to fix everything. You can say things like, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m here for you.” Try not to say things like “Stay positive” or “Everything happens for a reason”—those can feel hurtful even if you mean well.
Help in Simple Ways
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer to do something specific. You could say, “Can I bring you dinner?” or “Do you want a ride to your appointment?” Helping with things like cooking, laundry, or walking the dog can make their day easier. You can also ask friends to help out by taking turns doing these things.
Respect Their Feelings
Everyone deals with cancer differently. Some people want to talk about it, and others don’t. Let your loved one decide how much they want to share. Don’t compare their experience to someone else’s. Just follow their lead and be kind.
Keep Checking In
Lots of people offer help right after the diagnosis, but support can fade over time. Keep checking in with a text, call, or card—even months later. It shows you still care and haven’t forgotten them.
Be Careful with Compliments
Cancer treatment can change how someone looks and feels. Hair loss, weight changes, or surgery can affect their confidence. Instead of saying, “You look great,” try saying, “You’re so strong,” or “I’m proud of you.” Let them feel whatever they’re feeling—even if it’s sadness or anger.
Learn a Little, But Don’t Give Advice
It’s OK to learn about breast cancer so you understand what your loved one is going through. But don’t try to give medical advice or suggest treatments unless they ask. Let their doctors take care of that.
Support Their Caregivers Too
If your loved one has someone helping them every day, like a spouse or parent, check in on that person too. They might be tired or stressed. Offering them a break or a meal can help both of them.
Celebrate the Good Moments
Even during hard times, joy matters. Watch a funny movie together, send a silly card, or celebrate small wins like finishing a round of treatment. These happy moments can lift their spirits.
Keep Supporting After Treatment Ends
When treatment is over, your loved one might still feel tired or worried. Keep showing up. Go to follow-up appointments with them or just hang out. Your support still matters.
You don’t need to do anything big to help someone with breast cancer. Just be kind, show up, and offer help when you can. Your love and support can make their journey a little easier.
For more information, visit www.fideliscare.org/breast-cancer